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When Darkness Comes Page 17
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“Well, then why are we still standing here?” I placed my hands on my hips. “Take me to our bed.” I ordered, jokingly.
Trent emitted a low sound that sounded similar to growl. He lunged forward, swiftly hoisting me over his shoulder again, and carried me to his... our bedroom.
chapter 14
Isat with my knees pulled close to my chest, on the hand-scraped mahogany wood flooring of my bedroom closet. I looked all around me. Two walls of clothes and one wall of shoes and handbags; my most prized possessions (besides my cameras) tucked neatly in a 7’x10’ room. And soon, they would be sharing a space with Trent’s clothes and shoes. My stomach flipped at the thought. Not of having to share a closet, but at the thought of sharing EVERYTHING with Trent.
Maybe my parents are right. Maybe this isn’t a good idea. They told me less than a month ago that despite how much they like Trent, they did not agree with my decision. And, if it turned out they were right and everything went to hell in a hand-basket, there would be no more financial help on their part. I would have to find a place to live which would not be at their house, and I would have to pay my own way. That isn’t what scares me though. What scares me is the fact that they may be right. Trent and I might not work out. I want to believe that Trent is it and that we can weather any storm that might come to pass, but knowing that my own parents don’t even have faith in us... well, let’s just say it has planted a seed of doubt.
I sniffled, hugging my knees tighter when the closet door opened. I looked up at the man in the doorway. His soft brown eyes showed his worry, as he took in my position on the floor.
“Whatcha doin’ in here, P.K.?” J.J. asked as he stepped into the closet, closing the door behind him.
“We’re back to that now?” I huffed.
J.J. let out a small chuckle as he plopped down on the floor beside me. He stretched his long, denim clad legs out in front of him and crossed his ankles, leaning back on the palms of his hands. “Well, you ARE moving in with him. Next thing you know, Daaaaa-da-da-daaa Daaaaa-da-da-daaa...” He hummed the melody to the wedding march.
I shook my head quickly and laughed. “Ha! No! I don’t believe in marriage.” Then why did my voice sound so unsure? Hmmmm...
“Really?” J.J. tilted his head, surprised.
“Really.” I nodded with wide eyes.
J.J. leaned into me slightly. “You are the perfect woman, P.K.! Why don’t you ditch Trent, run away and marry me?” His warm smile and laughing eyes had my lips curved up in response.
“Sorry, J. No marriage, remember?” I gave him a wink.
J.J. clutched his chest with one hand, throwing his head back as if he were in pain. “You’re killing me, P.K. Someday, you will see... And then you can drive my car anytime you want.” He wagged his eyebrows at me as he pulled his keys from his pocket and dangled them in front of my face.
My mouth dropped for a second. “You’re incorrigible. And you’re not playing fair; you know how much I love that car.” I narrowed my eyes at him.
“And she could be yours, for the low, low price of taking the Jecklin name.” One corner of his mouth rose, displaying his sly grin.
I rolled my eyes and laughed as I shoved him lightly. He fell to the side for a split second and quickly righted himself.
“Seriously though, are you okay? Why are you hiding in the closet?” He softly bumped his shoulder into mine.
“Promise not to tell Trent?” I asked nervously.
“It depends on what it is.” J.J. shrugged.
“Of course, you choose to be loyal to him now.” I sighed while shifting my face away from him and up toward the ceiling.
“Hey.” J.J. reached over and placed his fingers on my chin, turning my face back toward his. “What’s going on?”
J.J. didn’t lower his hand and my chin began to quiver under the intense scrutiny. “I just...” I bit my lip and looked down, shying away from his touch, feeling slightly uncomfortable.
It wasn’t J.J.’s touch though, that was completely innocent. I just felt like maybe I shouldn’t be having this conversation with him. Are we friends? Sure; we share a friendly bond. But he is Trent’s best friend. And, that takes all precedence. But, seeing as he is that, I guess he would be able to either confirm or abolish my fears, so I might as well just talk to him...
“What if it doesn’t work out between us? We’ve already broken up once and I took him back with hardly any questions asked. On top of that, I agreed to move in with him.” I said quietly, looking up at J.J. from beneath my lashes.
J.J. smiled sweetly. “It’s going to work out between you two. I have no doubt about that. When two people are meant to be, things just have a way of working out. And, you are moving in with Trent because you love him. The lucky bastard.”
He was trying to cheer me up and ease my mind all at the same time. Judging from the smile on my face, it was surprisingly working.
“Thanks, J.J.”
“I mean it, Paige. I know that he got scared and pushed you away in New York, but he won’t do that again. Trust me.”
“Oh? And, how do you know?” I chuckled.
“He told me.” J.J. shrugged nonchalantly.
I lifted an eyebrow, surprised. “Really.”
“Really. He’s trying to work out his issues, because he doesn’t want to lose you.” J.J. offered me another sweet smile. “Plus, he knows if he does it again, you’re fair game.” He winked.
“Gah, J.J.!” I rolled my eyes at him and tugged his oversized black beanie down over his eyes.
J.J. started laughing as he situated the hat back to its correct place.
A thought popped into my head. “Hey, J...”
“Yeah, P.K.?”
“Did you come to Les Deux that night just to find me?”
J.J. laughed again. “What? That’s random.”
I shrugged. Sure, it was kind of random to bring it up now, but I was curious. Why had J.J. come to Les Deux Beauchemins’ out of all the other bars in Montreal? Did he come to convince me to give Trent one more chance? Or, did he come to Les Deux to try and win me over for himself? Or, was it pure coincidence that he walked into the bar for a drink? He had never told me, and curiosity was about to kill this cat if she didn’t find out soon.
J.J. ran a hand across his face. “Geesh...” He chewed on his lip for a moment, no doubt carefully considering his answer. “Yeah, I did. Look, I had been out with Trent all night and I was soooooo tired of listening to him complain. I knew that Matty owned the joint and that you were often there, so I decided to take matters into my own hands after Trent went home. I honestly didn’t know what I would say to you, and I had to have a few drinks to even work up the courage to walk in the place. I really didn’t think you would actually be there, but you were. And, it all worked out in the end, didn’t it?” He nudged my shoulder.
I smiled to myself. He was right. J.J. was part of the reason why Trent and I got back together; I don’t think I would’ve been able to forgive Trent so easily without the information shared by J.J. I think I’m going to have to listen to him more often.
“Yeah, I guess it did. Thanks, J.” I nudged him back.
The closet door opened and both of us turned to see Trent leaning against the doorframe. He crossed his arms over his chest, his biceps straining against the sleeves of his red Boston University Hockey t-shirt.
“What are you two doing in here?” He smirked from underneath his black BU cap. He looked drop-dead gorgeous decked out in all his alma mater gear, younger even. I could just picture him heading to practice or hanging out on campus hitting on all the young co-eds. Gosh, I am so in love with this man.
“I’m trying to convince this beautiful woman to run away with me.” J.J. said as he stood up and straightened his shirt.
Why would he say that?! Trent’s going to be pissed. I looked up at J.J. with wide eyes, before glancing toward Trent. Trent simply laughed and shook his head at his best friend.
“And how�
�s that working out for you?” He raised an eyebrow, awaiting J.J.’s response.
“It’s not. Seems she’s in love with another guy. Lucky duck.” J.J. walked over to Trent and gave him a punch in the arm.
In one swift movement, Trent turned J.J. around and had him in a headlock. I couldn’t help but laugh at the two men in front of me. A month ago, Trent was ready to go to blows with J.J. Of course, that was when he had jumped to conclusions over J.J. sleeping off his drunkenness on my couch. I had worried their friendship might suffer because of me, but here they are, joking and horsing around, and all is right in our little world.
I rose to my feet, shaking my head at J.J.’s futile attempts to get loose from Trent’s hold. Finally, J.J. delivered a soft punch to Trent’s stomach. Trent immediately released J.J.’s head and scowled.
“You’re gonna pay for that, just wait.” Trent warned as he jokingly threw a punch in J.J.’s direction.
“You two are crazy.” I chuckled, walking up to them.
“What’s going on in here?”
I stepped in between Trent and J.J., as they turned to look at Matty. Before I could answer his question, J.J. slipped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me right to his side.
“Ménage à trois, dude.” He deadpanned.
Oh. My. God. I can’t believe he just said that.
Matty’s mouth dropped open as he looked between me, wrapped up in J.J.’s embrace, and Trent, and then between Trent and J.J.
Trent shoved J.J. in the shoulder, successfully pushing him into the doorframe and away from me. Trent then wrapped his arms around me, pulling my back to his front and gently kissed my neck before touching his cheek to mine. “He’s kidding, Matt.”
I laughed and Matty shot me a disapproving look. “Oh, come on, Matty. That was funny. I mean, really, what do you think we’re doing in here?”
“It sure as hell doesn’t look like packing, which is what I thought we were here to do.” Matty was irritated and it showed. He turned around and left my bedroom without another word.
I turned my head and looked up at Trent with raised eyebrows and was met by a mocking sneer. When we turned to look at J.J., all three of us busted out laughing simultaneously.
“Man, did you see his face?” J.J. bent over, clutching his stomach, trying to contain his laughter.
“I know, man! He thought you were serious!” Trent laughed. His smile was wide and his green eyes sparkled with amusement.
These two are finding a little too much humor in this situation.
The more I thought about it, the more I felt bad for Matty. Ever since Trent came into the picture, Matty has sort of been placed on the back burner. Not intentionally, of course, but... things are just different now. Matty and I still hang out, but it’s not nearly as often as before. Plus, it’s mostly with a group of people. Trent is usually there, and we will invite the MPS crew along if we are going out somewhere. And, when you throw them into the mix... Well, I can see why Matty gets so jealous. He must feel like I have this new life that has nothing to do with him. I’m trying my best to keep both sides balanced, but sometimes I struggle with that task. Okay, make that often struggle.
“I’m going to go talk to Matty. You two come out once you’ve pulled yourselves together.” I sounded as agitated as I felt. In return, I received questioning looks from both Trent and J.J. I waved a hand at them, signaling them to just leave it alone, and I walked out of my bedroom, in search of Matty.
I stopped in the dining room, where Nic was wrapping picture frames in bubble wrap. “Hey, Nic. Have you seen your brother?”
Nic placed a wrapped frame in a box before looking up and toward the door. “Yeah, he kind of blew out of here. Said he had some work stuff to take care of, so he was going home.”
I nodded my head. Avoidance at its finest. “Thanks, Nic. I’ll be right back, ‘kay?”
“Sure thing, Paige.”
I strode out of my apartment and pushed the call button to the elevator with more force than I had intended. Clearly, I am still agitated. It took me all of 15 seconds to get from my apartment to Matty’s, and when I reached the door, I knocked loudly. Matty opened the door and shook his head before walking away.
“Of course, Paige, won’t you come in?” I said sarcastically as I stepped over the threshold.
If looks could kill, I would be on the floor, dead, thanks to the scowl my comment earned from Matty. He turned and sank down into his brown leather sofa and I followed his lead. Turning my head, I looked at him and he reciprocated.
“I’m so sorry, Matty. I know I’ve been... Well, I’ve been a jerk. And, I’m sorry.”
Matty smiled sadly. “I know you don’t mean to; you don’t have a mean bone in your body. And, I know that you have a boyfriend now, and that you don’t have as much time for me, but... I just miss you.”
I sidled up to him and rested my head on his shoulder. “I really am sorry.” I whispered. “This isn’t how things are supposed to be.”
Matty lifted his left hand and began to run his fingers through my hair. “I know, Paige. But it’s the way they are and it hurts. I see you with Trent and even with J.J., and that’s how you used to be with me. And, things are only going to get more complicated now that you’re moving away.”
I frowned as I listened to the sadness in his voice. Why had I put him on the back burner? Was it because I know how he truly feels about me, so I was trying to put some distance between us? I don’t want to lead him on. I love Matty, I do. But, could I ever date him? Probably not. Not now. Maybe when we were in college, but now it’s too late. Now, I have Trent. And, I have never felt this way about anyone until Trent.
“I’m not moving away, Matty. I’m still going to be in Montreal, just not downstairs.” I paused. “You think I’m stupid for doing this, don’t you?”
“I don’t think you’re... I just can’t believe you’re giving up your place. You love it here.”
I stood up slowly and took a deep breath as I turned around and looked down at him. “You’re right, I do love it here. But I love Trent more.”
“Ha!” Matty jolted up from the couch. “You don’t even know him, Paige!” He rolled his eyes as he stood before me.
“I know how I feel about him! Why can’t that be enough?” I raised my voice a little.
Matty looked at me, his lips in a tight line. “Was it enough with Zane?” He asked bitterly.
I recoiled from both his comment and the tone of his voice. “ZANE didn’t love ME enough.” My voice cracked as tears filled my eyes. “HE didn’t love ME!”
I had loved Zane with all I had, through the highest highs and the lowest lows. Matty knew that. Matty knew that I had loved Zane as much as I possibly could. But I had gotten to the point where I just couldn’t take it anymore. Was that my fault? Was I just supposed to stand by and watch Zane keep risking death by overdose?
I fought back the tears and decided to get mad instead of sad. “And, I know Trent. I know he loves me, in a way Zane never did. Besides, why the hell should I take relationship advice from you anyway? From a guy that hasn’t been in a real relationship in how long? You wouldn’t know what love was if it bit you in the ass.” I snapped.
Matty’s jaw tightened, his teeth clenched tightly as he stood frozen in place. “I think you should go.” He gritted out.
Oh, what have I done? Shit.
“Matty, I’m sorry.” I said quickly. “I didn’t mean it. You know I didn’t mean it.”
Matty lifted his hand to stop my words. “Paige, it’s alright. Just go. I’ll see you around.” He slowly lowered his hand and looked away, avoiding eye contact with me.
“Wait. You’ll see me around? What does that even mean? Matty?” I moved to the side, trying to get into his line of sight.
Matty closed his eyes tightly. “It means...” He took a deep breath, then opened his eyes and stared into mine, his blue orbs radiating sadness. “I hope it works out with you and Trent; I really do. But I just don
’t know if I can be around you two. Not right now, at least. I’m sorry, Paige.”
A tear trickled down my cheek and I bit my bottom lip. “You’re sorry? No, Matty, if you were sorry, you wouldn’t be doing this. Are you really doing this? Don’t do this. Please.” I sniffled.
Matty reached out and wiped away the tear. “Don’t cry. You know where to find me. If it all falls apart, I’ll still be right here. I’ll always be here for you. I just can’t be there... with you and him.” He leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead.
I closed my eyes. How had we gone from being curled up on the couch just like old days to this... saying goodbye... in just a matter of minutes?
When I opened my eyes to look at Matty, I found him standing at his front door, holding it open.
“Matty, please, I’m begging you. Don’t do this to us. Don’t do this to me. Don’t think about Trent right now, just you and me. Please.” I said quietly.
Matty looked out into the hallway and shook his head once. “Paige, I am thinking about you and me. That’s why I have to do this.”
I nodded my head. In his eyes, I had made my decision. I chose Trent. And, Matty had made his. He chose to shut me out for as long as I stayed with Trent. It was time for me to respect his decision, just as he was trying to do with mine. No matter how much either of us disliked it.
I walked out the door and turned around to face my best friend. His blue eyes glistened with unshed tears and his knuckles were white as he gripped the edge of the door. I wanted to apologize again. I wanted to say a million things to him, but I couldn’t. I smiled sadly. “Bye, Matty.” I whispered before turning my back to him and heading toward the elevator. I flinched when I heard his door slam shut. And as the elevator’s door closed, with me tucked inside, I sunk against the wall, the tears streaming freely down my face.